"Sagging Pants" and "Pajamas" - I just don't get it

Where has self-respect and pride gone these days? And I'm not just talking about our children, but an alarming number of young adults and fully grown adults as well. 

I know there have been discussions before regarding our young men and the issue of sagging pants, but there is a new epidemic that has emerged that has been started by our young ladies! And for me personally, I find just as unattractive - and that is wearing pajamas everywhere they go!

Why? I just don't get it.

From the time I was like 15 years old up until about 2 years ago you couldn't get me out the front door without my hair and makeup done and my clothes clean and ironed. Not that I am not much the same way today, I just don't put as much emphasis on putting on makeup to run around the corner to the grocery store as I once did. And considering I am at home much more now than in the past I may get up and put on the same pair of jeans and top that I had on yesterday and maybe even from the day before. Why create more work for myself (laundry)? After all, the only thing I have done is sit at home at my desk working on my computer and maybe made a quick trip to the grocery. How dirty could I possibly get? And yes there are days when I lounge around in my pajamas all day. But you can best believe I don't leave the house in them.

Unfortunately, I can't say the same for everyone. I can't remember the last time I went to the store, the mall, the gas station and even to some appointments and there isn't either a man with sagging pants or a young lady in her pajamas or both. And they are just going about their day oblivious to how they are being perceived by the rest of the world or they just don't care.

Whatever happened to "The first impression is a lasting impression"? Obviously they just don't get it. The way they present themselves to the world says a lot about them to other people, whether their perception is true or not is irrelevant. People have a tendency to stereotype and judge each other based on what they see.

For me, why these trends started aren't as important as putting an end to them. But, what do we do to turn this around? Well as with everything I talk about, the first place it begins is at home.

Mothers, fathers, aunts and uncles, grandparents sit down and discuss with the young men and women in your families the value of self-respect and pride in oneself.  And how easy it is to give the wrong impression of yourself and how hard it can be to change that impression.

I personally know that all young men who sag are not gang members, dope dealers and carry guns. But on the other hand, there are a lot of them who are. I know every young lady that I see at the grocery or mall isn't someone who is just too lazy to get up and put some clothes on, or has a bunch of babies and living on public assistance somewhere not doing anything to better herself. But then once again there are those for whom them that’s exactly the case.

But when their paths cross with the public for whatever reason, when the first thing they see is their pants down around their ankles and the only other thing they or I can see is your underwear (which by the way the keyword is "under", which means I shouldn't see them), or they look like they just rolled over got out of bed and decided to go shopping and advertise what they wore to bed last night, trust me the impression of them isn't going to be very high.

Maybe they are that young man or woman looking for employment, they walk up to the door of the grocery store and there is a sign posted, HELP WANTED and then they see their reflection in the door. Pants sagging, last night’s pajamas on.. Honestly, do they go in and apply? I hope not! And might I suggest; don't even inquire at this time about the job! Remember what I said about "First impression"? Oh and while you have to go home and change your appearance someone else may be walking away with the job.

Having been responsible for interviewing and hiring in the past, I realize that sometimes people just happen upon a job while going about their daily lives. So I understand that they may not be dressed totally appropriate for an interview.

And while I am open to giving any one a chance, for the sake of my employer I too was put in a position to stereotype.  That young man with his pants down around his ankles or the young lady in her pajamas inquiring about the help wanted sign on the door could be great workers. But their outward appearance suggests otherwise. Chances are unless they have excellent references and a great work history and provided I even take the time to look that far, 9 times out of 10 they won’t get an interview let alone the job. I know some of you reading this also have been put in this position. You know what I am sharing is true.

Sit down discuss these issues with your family, perhaps roll play with them. Showing them the differences between what you feel is appropriate and inappropriate dress. Make sure when you purchase clothing for the young men in your family or they purchase clothing for themselves that they fit and that they have a belt, and make them use it. Young ladies when they leave out the door, make sure they have clothes on. Don't just turn a blind eye on the situation, because you think it's just a trend that they are going through. We have been dealing with our young men and this sagging issue for the past 18+ years. That is not a trend.

I was fortunate when my daughters were growing up that they witnessed firsthand how young men were being stereotyped when sagging first started and they chose not to date a young man if they didn't wear their pants appropriately.  Not saying that they didn't have male friends that sagged, but when choosing which young men to date and be associated with, they chose the ones with their pants pulled up. (Patting myself on the Back)

Now, my son decided (once he was clear of the house and my watchful eye) to try the sagging trend until while walking to a friend’s one day he was robbed at gunpoint by another young man with sagging pants. Now the scary point which also turned out to be the biggest lesson was that my son tried to run, but he couldn't get away because of his sagging pants. Fortunately for us the only thing that was taken that day was a leather coat and a couple dollars, because it definitely could have been a lot worse. But from that day on my son has not sagged his pants and that was 18 years ago. A scary way to learn a lesson! But a lesson learned none the less.

Families stop and take a look in the mirror. Is the image in the mirror the first impression you or your family want to make? Fathers, grandfathers, look at yourselves - is the way that you dress influencing your sons and grandsons, the younger male figures in your lives? If you are sagging your pants, chances are your sons will too. Mothers and grandmothers stop and ask yourselves these same questions too. That quick errand to the store, the mall in your pajamas is an indication to your daughters that this type of dress in public is acceptable.  Remember I said it begins at home.